The Illusion of Being “Allowed”
Women in business aren’t “allowed” to succeed once they’ve earned it. The gates were never built for us. These barriers aren’t just personal; they’re systemic, designed to slow women’s advancement while fast-tracking men. The solution isn’t to wait for permission, but to build independent infrastructure, own your platform, and leverage the expertise you already have so your success can’t be taken away.
The most dangerous thing women are told in business isn’t that we’re not ready.
It’s that we’ll be “allowed” to succeed once we’ve earned it.
That framing assumes there’s a neutral judge—a marketplace, an algorithm, a hiring manager—who will reward us for discipline, persistence, and skill. But anyone who’s been in the game long enough knows the truth: these gates aren’t neutral. They are engineered to open more easily for some and remain closed for others, regardless of merit.
A Pattern Older Than the Platforms
This isn’t new. The same pattern existed long before hashtags and LinkedIn feeds. Women have always had to prove themselves twice—once to show they can do the work, and again to justify why they should be trusted with the rewards of that work.
What’s changed is the infrastructure of control. In the industrial era, those gates looked like hiring committees, trade unions, and pay scales. Today, they’re algorithms, shadow bans, and the cultural cachet of “founder” networks built on trust and access we were never invited into.
Both systems enforce the same outcome: slow, steady growth for women while men are fast-tracked through unspoken channels of visibility and investment.
The Real Cost of Waiting
When we buy into the idea that we just have to “do the work” and wait our turn, we’re not building resilience—we’re subsidizing a system that depends on our patience.
I’ve been there. I’ve been told to put my head down, be grateful for what I had, and let the right people “discover” me. I’ve waited through restructuring cycles, budget freezes, and now algorithmic invisibility, only to watch less-experienced men be handed opportunities I’d been training for my entire career.
The cost isn’t just personal. It’s generational. Every year we spend waiting for permission is another year our daughters see the same limits modeled back to them.
Refusing the Premise
The only real countermeasure is to reject the premise that permission is required. That means building infrastructure outside the systems designed to slow us down. It means naming the pattern out loud so other women can recognize it faster.
For me, it looks like owning my platform, my content, and my distribution. It’s building business models that work without algorithmic approval. It’s teaching women to leverage their existing expertise—not as a backup plan, but as the core plan.
Because the truth is this: no one is coming to open the gates. They were never built for us.
The Invitation
If you’re waiting for the market, the algorithm, or a gatekeeper to give you your shot, stop. Name the power you already hold. Build with the tools in your hand. Find women who are building, too, and create something that can’t be taken away when the platform changes its rules.
We were never beginners. We were just never meant to be “allowed.”
This Friday: Office Hours: Sign up here
Bring your resume. Bring the skills you’re “saving” for someday. Bring the ones you’ve never been paid for but that bring you the most joy.
We’ll translate them into the future of work—where your expertise becomes your leverage, your income, and your independence.
Q&A Block
Q: Why do women in business often wait longer for success than men?
A: Women face systemic barriers that go beyond skill or readiness. Historical hiring practices, exclusion from high-trust networks, algorithmic bias, and cultural expectations all slow women’s advancement. The “wait your turn” narrative is a control mechanism—not a merit-based system.
Q: How can women advance without waiting for permission?
A: Own your platform and distribution. Build revenue models outside algorithmic control. Leverage your existing expertise as your core product. Partner with other women to create shared infrastructure that can’t be taken away when a platform changes its rules.
Q: What is the “illusion of being allowed” in business?
A: It’s the false belief that success is granted by neutral gatekeepers after we “earn it.” In reality, these gates are designed to open faster for some and remain closed for others, regardless of merit. Recognizing this illusion is the first step toward building outside it.
Hi, I’m Sundee. I write at the edge where Gen X women and the world collide.
Sometimes it’s scripted. Sometimes it’s a wild tangent. But every word, every build, every rebellion is about the same thing—claiming a life they told us we couldn’t have.